Becoming a Haruspex I

In 1977 I went to New York to do a six-week student elective in gastroenterology at New York University. I arrived in the middle of a heatwave. The blackout that year had resulted in widespread looting; the Bronx was ‘burning’ due to insurance fires; the police were on strike and picketing the Brooklyn Bridge and David ‘Son of Sam’ Berkowitz, the .44 caliber killer, was shooting courting couples at random. His arrest for an unpaid parking ticket was imminent.

The placement was at Bellevue Hospital, a name forever associated with the notorious psychiatric wards. In fact Bellevue was also a general hospital housed then in an enormous brutalist block known as ‘The Cube’. The original infamous Bellevue building next door was being demolished while I was there but I managed to get into it and wander the deserted corridors looking for ghosts. When I heard some raucous voices coming from one of the abandoned rooms my courage deserted me. I fled back to the relative safety of the Cube with its handcuffed prisoners and armed police guards.

Bellevue was a public hospital paired with the private University Hospital known as UH. It lies at the east end of 28th Street between 1st Avenue and the FDR Drive. The UN Building is a few blocks to the north. Ward rounds started very early in Bellevue so that the attending physicians (consultants) could make their way along the underground passage from to UH – where the money was. In the UH lobby hung an Andrew Wyeth and a very expensive car showroom was close by. Despite these signs of opulence New York was in severe decline then.

The Cube on FDR Drive

Through an acquaintance with connections in Philadelphia I also spent some time in that city. It was noticeably less crazy than NYC. As a result I met someone who would become a lifelong friend. Al Dorof was living in an apartment on Delancey Place, a gorgeous mid-nineteenth century tree-lined street that has featured as a location in several films including Trading Places. It is amongst the most prestigious addresses in Philadelphia. The fabulous Rosenbach Museum of literary memorabilia is there. Delancey Place has hitching posts and mounting blocks and is older than many of the streets of Edinburgh’s New Town.

The palatial townhouse was divided into flats with a communal kitchen in the basement. Those Philadelphia contacts who introduced me to Al had prevailed on him to put me up for the weekend. We got on very well and I returned to Philadelphia to stay with him when my elective in New York finished. Also staying at Delancey Place was Larry, an acquaintance of Al, who was a radiologist.

One evening Larry came home from the hospital and said, ‘Look what I had to report this morning.’ He propped a frontal skull view against a lampshade and invited us to inspect it. There was a dense round structure projected over the exact centre of the frontal bone (the forehead). Then he showed us the lateral. A faint linear shadow could be seen traversing the skull from front to back, terminating in a triangular metallic structure just above the pituitary fossa. It was an arrowhead mounted on a wooden shaft. Along the line of the shaft tiny fragments of bone and pockets of gas were visible that had been carried in from the entry point. An endotracheal tube was visible in the pharynx indicating the patient was on a ventilator.

‘That is some shot!’ I said, appalled. ‘Well, not exactly,’ said Larry. ‘He was a teenage boy who had an argument with his brother. His brother waited until he was asleep then crept up on him and fired a hunting arrow into his head from point blank range. He made it to hospital but died soon after the radiograph was taken.’ It was the first of many ‘foreign bodies’ I would see on radiographs.

Years after Al and I first met I was on a flight from Philadelphia to Chicago. I had been visiting Al for a week before going on to the RSNA (Radiological Society of North America) conference in Chicago. I found myself sitting in the row behind Larry and made myself known to him. By then I was a consultant in Edinburgh and he was running a large imaging practice in Philadelphia. I reminded him of the skull radiograph and told him this early experience of forensic radiology had ‘stuck in my mind.’

American radiologists in private practice would attend the RSNA with a cheque book in the back pocket of their jeans ready to buy a CT scanner – or two. They were fêted by the equipment reps and for a week the Chicago restaurants did a roaring trade.

Unseen rays

In 1984, seven years after my student elective, I started training as a radiologist. After the rudderless ambiguity of my year in psychiatry it was a relief to enter the precise anatomical world of imaging. The plumbing, wiring and scaffolding of the human body is a philosophy-free zone. Clinical radiology is mostly a diagnostic service used by many different disciplines, but the rise of interventional radiology, in which imaging techniques are used to perform physical treatments rather than diagnosis, has been one of the wonders of modern medicine.

As an ex-physician, the only radiology I had been ‘exposed’ to prior to this were chest X-rays. In the acute care setting I thought I could tell cardiac failure from pneumonia and I’d picked up one or two pneumothoraces (collapsed lungs), one caused by me in the course of inserting a temporary cardiac pacemaker. For this procedure X-Ray screening equipment is required to guide the pacing wire into the heart. This taste of interventional radiology was a portent of things to come.

Before my detour into psychiatry, I sat the physician’s exam known as ‘membership’. We had some tutorials from a locum radiologist. He was getting divorced and had left an academic post down south to work briefly as a locum in Dunfermline. His plain film sessions were a revelation and the unexpected depth and complexity of the specialty were revealed to me. He also showed us his pet films, those bizarre, funny or fascinating ones that aren’t strictly exam material; what I would later call, ‘Barnum and Bailey Radiology’.

I was intrigued. I realised that in the past I had been reliant on the written radiology report without appreciating the skill involved in generating that report. It’s easy to say, ‘Ah, yes,’ when the answer is right in front of you. Later, as a qualified radiologist, I would tell my juniors that the only skills a clinician needed to use a radiology department were reading and writing. Write a request, then read the report.

That kind of inter-specialty badinage was a long way down the line for the four of us who started our training together in 1984. All of us had left advanced registrar posts in general medicine where we had been given a great deal of responsibility, but I was the only one who had swerved into a career cul-de-sac. One of my co-appointees claimed to have heard the committee discussing my chequered CV before she was called in for her interview. As intended, it unsettled me until I heard that I had in fact been successful.

Essentially all four of us had been ‘busted back to private’ in another first-day-at-school experience to add to all the rest a medical career hands out. Worse, we had no radiology skills to offer in our first year, and could not do on-call. This meant we lost the substantial on-call supplement to our salaries. And then there were those exams to sit. These proved much more challenging than we expected. Virtually every specialty has its own distinct radiology associated with it and you needed to have an understanding of how imaging fitted into all those disciplines. We were embarking on a vast game of Radiological Trivial Pursuits. Piles of textbooks awaited us.

Unlike my new trainee colleagues who had come directly from medical specialties I did not miss the lack of beds, wards or status, but my knowledge of the human body had decayed since my days in the anatomy lecture theatre. A trick played on new recruits by our seniors was to ask them to name the eight bones of the carpus (wrist). Simple stuff for a second year medical student learning anatomy but tricky for the five-year postgraduate veteran. This was a ploy by our consultants to sober us up on arrival. We needed to grasp that the terra incognita was vast.

In an echo of first year at medical school we had to learn some Physics to give us an inkling of the science behind the big machines we would be using. We also attended an X-ray photography course run by the big supplier, Kodak. X-ray films are essentially photographs. Two days a week we were full-time postgraduate students. We had matriculation cards and everything. We could use the postgraduate union on Buccleugh Place and bunk off for a swim or a drink if a lecture was cancelled. The other three days of the week we tried to acquire the practicalities, the praxis, of our new trade. After the misery and confusion of my year in psychological medicine it was liberating.

Once, during a wild gale, we were making our way to the postgrad union for lunch. As we were walking along Middle Meadow Walk, which lies between the old Royal Infirmary and the Medical School, a tree blew down. It fell between the leading pair in our group and the other two (which included me) who following on behind. With a noise like gunshot and it crashed onto the path between us seconds after the leading pair had passed it. It is the only time I’ve ever witnessed a tree fall naturally. The chances of being killed by a falling tree are around one in 10 million per year.

Later that same year I was goaded into being interviewed for a feminist programme on Channel Four called Watch The Woman. My girlfriend at the time knew the producer from university. The programme was to be about women in medicine. At first I refused – and was mocked for being a coward. Stung, I finally agreed. The producer decided to interview me on Middle Meadow Walk.

A friendly preliminary chat with the interviewer and crew in a café on Forrest Road suggested they regarded me as a thoroughly decent chap. They even expressed surprise and sympathy to learn that I earned less than they did. The weather was fair and we went out onto Middle Meadow Walk to film the interview. This took place on a bench as pedestrians wandered past. It was my TV debut. One of the crew held up a board covered in foil to reflect the sun onto the shaded side of my face. On the sunny side the baleful black eye of the camera lens stared back at me.

Unlike the gentle enquiries lobbed at me over coffee, I was hit with a barrage of challenging questions regarding how much of an evil misogynist I was. The line was essentially, ‘Have you stopped being a sexist?’ to which any answer would be incriminating. One actual question was, ‘Do you feel threatened by nurses taking over doctors’ roles?’ The lens scrutinised me, the sun reflected off the board into my eyes. I gibbered inanely. ‘Do you resent nurses having prescribing rights?’ asked my tormentor.

Suddenly a voice said, ‘Well, I think we’ve got enough. We’ll do the noddies now.’ I felt like saying, ‘Wait! I haven’t said a word of sense!’ – but it was too late. You need the ‘noddies’ when you only have one video camera. The interviewer remained seated on the bench, while I had to watch from behind the cameraman. The interviewer repeated the questions he had already asked me to an empty seat and ‘nodded’ as if listening to my replies. Later they would splice this footage into my original responses as if there had been two cameras, one on me and the other on my persecutor. I wished I could go again. From then on I had a lot more respect for people such as politicians who answer combative questions in a live interview.

An agonising few months elapsed as I waited to view the finished programme. My girlfriend found this very entertaining. On the fateful night I couldn’t watch. As an alternative to hiding behind the sofa, I sat on the stairs and watched the recording later. In the event they used the only bit of sense I’d come out with, but it was a narrow escape. I didn’t keep the recording.


Plain radiographs – what everyone understands by the term ‘X-ray’ – were the basis of our new calling. These images depend on the natural intrinsic density of human tissues to X-ray photons and because bones are made mainly of calcium, a high atomic weight element, they show up well against the muscles, fat and gas of the rest of the body. We learned to injected iodine-based intravenous contrast media to create an artificial ‘contrast’ between structures containing these iodine compounds and their surroundings. Contrast is rapidly excreted by the kidneys so the renal tracts show up well. Injecting contrast directly into foot veins outlines any clots in the veins of the the calf and above.

For the gastrointestinal tract we were taught to perform barium studies. Barium sulphate is an inert, extremely heavy compound. ‘Barium’ actually means ‘heavy element’ and it stops X-ray photons in their tracks. You cannot inject it but you can swallow it and it will pass harmlessly through your gut without being absorbed. You can also put it up the other end of the gut as an enema. If you add air or any other gas an exquisite see-through image of the gut known as a ‘double-contrast’ study can be created. I used to liken this to an empty milk bottle with the milk still coating the surface of the glass.

Not all radiography is static. In fluoroscopic screening rooms the tilting examination ‘table’ has an X-ray source beneath it linked to a sensing ‘explorator’ above which can be moved over the patient to follow the progress of the ingested contrast. By pulling a trigger on the explorator, X-rays pass through the patient from beneath the table to strike a fluorescent plate inside the explorator. The image is then intensified electronically and transmitted to a nearby TV monitor. A live, moving radiographic image is seen. This equipment is necessary for dynamic barium studies.

At the controls in a screening room
A double contrast barium meal as it appears on an image intensifier showing the oesophagus, stomach and duodenal loop coated with barium and filled with gas from effervescent powder. The barium looks black indicating that no photons have reached the plate to make it glow. If you wish, you can reverse this image to make the barium look white as it would do on a conventional X-Ray film. The photons that pass through the patient cause blackening of the film while the lack of photons penetrating the barium leaves those parts of the film unexposed and white.

The ritual of these examinations is still embedded in my brain:

‘Turn to your left. Take the cup in your left hand; it’s heavy. Swallow one mouthful for me now please. Now drink the rest as quickly as you can… I’m going to tilt the table down flat… Stay on your left side. Now turn onto your stomach. I’m going to give you a shake; there’s no extra charge for this…’

In the ancient photograph below the operator is using direct screening. The X-ray source is behind the patient and the image is produced as the x-rays strike the plate in front of the patient’s abdomen – the operator is in direct line-of-fire. Because the image produced was so faint radiologists had to ‘dark-adapt’ and use their more sensitive night vision. To dark-adapt in advance of a screening list radiologists would don red goggles for 20 minutes. Very little light penetrated these goggles and there were alarming tales of radiologists driving between hospitals while wearing goggles to avoid dark-adapting all over again at their destination.

Direct screening in the good old days – and Konrad Roentgen

Our lecturers scared us with tales of the ‘X-Ray Martyrs’ who did not understand the lethal properties of the new miracle rays they were employing. They used their own hands to calibrate the equipment every day – until the bones disintegrated and tumours appeared.

Barium studies have been more or less completely replaced by endoscopy and cross-sectional imaging techniques such as CT and MR. The ability to visualise and biopsy the gut clearly trumps barium, but it took a while for the endoscopists to acquire the resources to deal with the demand. Radiologists who spent their whole careers performing barium examinations and writing great textbooks about it became part of medical history during my working lifetime. Towards the end of my career the occasional request for a barium study in a patient who had declined endoscopy caused panic among our juniors who had no idea how to perform one.

The same fate befell lymphography, a fiendishly difficult technique requiring cannulation of tiny lymphatic ducts in the feet. You injected a blue dye (mixed with local anaesthetic) between toes and, after a while, the dye found its way into the lymphatic ducts which would hopefully show up as faint blue lines under the skin on the top of the feet. You then ‘cut down’ onto them, dissected them out, and inserted a tiny needle into them to inject oily contrast. You hoped you hadn’t found a vein instead. A check X-ray was required to see where the contrast was going. If it was floating around in tiny globules, instead of thread-like ducts, you’d mucked it up.

By the next day the lymphatic contrast would have reached the lymph nodes of the abdomen. Two offset radiographs were taken then placed together on a viewing box. By viewing the films using binocular apparatus a 3-D image of the nodes was produced. You then inspected the nodes for any defects that might represent tumour deposits. This technique was completely replaced by CT. These changes in practice brought no savings to radiology budgets as the growth of ultrasound, CT, MR and interventional radiology meant a struggle to re-equip and re-skill our own departments.

Apart from lymphography all the examinations described above result in two-dimensional images. The bones, soft tissues and any contrast material are projected together in a jumble onto a flat film. You need to know the three-dimensional anatomy that underlies the image in order to interpret this confusion. Almost invariably in TV dramas chest X-rays are placed the wrong way round on viewing boxes – to the extent that it seemed deliberate to me. I wondered if the props department knew that the heart should be on the left and so put the chest X-ray up that way not realising the heart is not on their left but on the patient’s left. A radiologist looks at a radiograph as if they were looking at the patient’s body from in front. The crucial skill to acquire early on is knowing the patient’s left from their right – otherwise disaster can ensue. Similarly, in cross-sectional imaging, by convention, the body is viewed from below, as if looking up at the organs from the feet. Here again, the organs of the right side of the body lie to the left of the image.

A radiologist of my vintage would be subjected to a dose of radiation amounting to roughly twice the background dose we all get in our normal lives. (People in Cornwall and Aberdeen get more because of the radioactive rocks in these places.) This is actually a minimal increase in risk as we all have about a 40% chance of developing cancer anyway. Nevertheless we all wore film badges on our belts that monitored our dose and got togged up in heavy lead aprons to do screening lists.

In a hideously incorrect joke lead aprons were sometimes referred to as ‘Irish lifejackets’ when I started.

I am old enough to remember shoe shops with X-Ray screening equipment that allowed you and your mother to view your toes wiggling away inside your new Start-Rites. I’ve seen my own toes several times this way. When I showed an image of this equipment during a lecture towards the end of my career it produced a gasp of horror from the young audience.

Radiotherapy for kids’ feet in the 50s and 60s

Before the advent of ‘dry’ processing using film cassettes, X-ray films were developed in fluid-filled tanks in a darkroom. These ‘films’ were originally glass photographic plates. When I started radiology request cards at the Royal Infirmary were still being stamped ‘WPP’ standing for ‘Wet Plate Please’ even though we had on long since moved to dry films. A ‘wet plate’ meant an urgent examination that was to be returned to the ward or clinic with the patient. If you were on the rota for ‘top bench,’ reporting films as they came through, wet plates were prioritised. The reports were typed by a secretary who sat beside you at ‘top bench’ transcribing your immortal prose. A carbon copy was kept on the back of the original request card and the top copy sent back to the ward with the films. The cards were filed manually in the department.

Films regularly went missing. Comparison with any previous films a patient might have had is invaluable for interpretation. The clinicians involved thought that they should keep the films – either in their ward or in the boot of their car. We thought they should be filed systematically in our department and so be available for comparison. Finding films, a running sore for everyone involved, was eventually fixed by the arrival of digital storage.

Paradoxically, plain films, while a simple technique, are very tricky to report. You require a vast mental archive of normal and abnormal appearances in order to interpret what you are seeing. There are two kinds of error in reporting an examination. You can either fail to see the abnormality or misinterpret that abnormality and issue a misleading report. There are sins of omission and commission. For a long time we junior trainees required to have our work checked by our elders and betters, a senior registrar or a consultant if you could find one.

Like the fieldcraft of birdwatching, it is not enough to look at something, you have to understand what it is. The whole problem with birds is to make an identification. Is it something common or rare? – to see what is different in each species. Likewise in radiology you need experience to recognise what you are looking at. You require a a mental library of all the variations in normal appearances. In radiology there are textbooks of ‘normal variants’ that have to be learned (Keats). To the tyro the ability of the experienced radiologist to recognise pathology instantly – like an old friend – seems almost mystical.

Before digital imaging radiology departments kept hard-copy film libraries where interesting cases were stored for teaching. Pilfering for somebody’s private teaching collection or borrowing by clinicians who ‘forgot’ to bring the films back was a constant threat to the collection. Periodically some hapless junior would be given the task of sorting out the entropic chaos of these places. The keen ones enjoyed doing it and benefitted from it. When I did my trawl through the archive at the Western I found some ancient films in disintegrating bags. One of them showed an elderly man’s forearm with a fracture. In addition, there was a metallic foreign body in the soft tissues close to the elbow. I turned the bag over to see why this had been kept. In pencil in beautiful copperplate script someone had written:

Gunshot injury. Shot by Robert Louis Stevenson!

There was no other information.

Pianos

I love pianos, the least portable instruments in the world, but wander away from the well-maintained specimen at home and you will be a hostage to fortune if you get invited to play one. Tuning to concert pitch is nice but usually a random piano will be out of tune with notes that stick or don’t work at all. The felt on the hammers of old heavily used pianos in institutions becomes compacted producing a distinctive plonking sound.

There is a story about Art Tatum and a speakeasy. Tatum was blind but his other senses were remarkably sharp. He had perfect pitch. He could tell you the date of a nickel by the noise it made when it fell on the floor or the amount of beer left in his bottle by tapping it to detect the change in pitch. This speakeasy happened to be hidden in the rear of a funeral parlour. Tatum noted the strange embalming smells as he was conducted to the hidden room at the back. There, a pianist was entertaining the customers on a terrible piano. Tatum sat down and after listening for a while remarked that the A above middle C was sticking. Presently he said, ‘Take me up there.’

‘But Art, that piano is awful,’ his companion protested.

‘Never mind, take me up there,’ he insisted.

He sat down, pushed up the stuck A key and started playing. As the dazzling runs flew over the keyboard he used his left hand to flick up the stuck-down key each time he hit it with his right. He didn’t miss a note and to the listeners there seemed to be nothing wrong with the piano.

The first piano I can recall belonged to my grandparents. It was an upright Bechstein and stood in the parlour of the house they bought in Eskbank after my grandfather retired. My mother and her older sister Hilda had played it when they were growing up. Hilda was the better and more enthusiastic musician. She died young in the 1930s of ‘acidosis’, a mysterious diagnosis that was never clarified. I suspect they kept the piano for sentimental reasons because no one was playing it by the time I appeared on the scene.

Black is the eye of the Raven, Black is the eye of the Rook, But blacker still will be the eye of the person that steals this book

We had no piano at home in Ayrshire but we visited my grandparents regularly and I became fascinated by the amazing machine, experimenting with the noises it made. One day we arrived to stay as usual – and the piano was gone. It had been sold. I was inconsolable. My grandmother said she would not have disposed of it had she known I was so keen.

After that my only regular access to a piano was in the hotel where we ate Sunday lunch after church. I would hurry through the meal and skip dessert to rush off to the ballroom for a few minutes of experimentation. I tried to pick out hymn tunes and TV themes. Eventually my parents decided they ought to encourage me and an upright – a Cramer – was purchased.

Of course it was not their intention that I play any old thing I fancied so lessons were arranged with Mr Walker, a music teacher at the local secondary school. He had a small grand piano and a very cold house. While you negotiated your badly prepared pieces with frozen fingers he would warm his hands down the back of the radiator. Although I did want to learn to read music I did not enjoy the lessons nor the annual concerts his pupils were made to play. I didn’t go as far as my younger brother who, in his desperation to avoid a piano lesson, had a bath, put on his pyjamas and went to bed. After doing the Grade I Theory exams I gave up attending Mr Walker, ostensibly to concentrate on my O-Levels, but I never went back.

Those were the days of obsessional playing and rapid progress in my ‘by-ear’ technique. I just wouldn’t stop playing and my mother sometimes locked the piano to force me to do some homework. By late secondary school I could knock out some half decent blues and boogie woogie numbers. Once, having finished an appearance as Mr Bumble the beadle in the school production of Oliver! I was ‘entertaining’ the rest of the off-stage cast with some Champion Jack Dupree in the music room behind the stage when a breathless ASM came rushing in to say I could be heard ‘front of house’ and Mr Hunter (our scary director) said I was to stop immediately.

Music was a dichotomy for me then: the cryptic specks and spots on the stave which caused me so much grief, and the melodies and chord changes I had begun to work out for myself by experimentation. It would be decades before I began to see how the two related to each other. To this day I am much happier working with chord changes and a top line than I am with formal written music – I still cannot read with any fluency.

Ironically, the point at which your friends start to think you can play is often the moment you realise you can’t. Musicians’ self-knowledge is acute. Only other musicians truly appreciate how good the best are. Technical competence is an unattainable goal for many of us but a starting point for the really gifted. Perhaps a deep knowledge of what the great players achieve is the true benefit of being a serious amateur.

Leaving for Edinburgh University meant not having access to a piano again. I could play the pianos in the bars of the Teviot Row Union but that was always a ‘performance’ in a public place. I had nowhere to practise. Then I discovered a grand piano in an unlocked side room on the top floor of the Union, above the debating hall. There was competition for this instrument from other keen students, often very good players.

A short wander from the Medical School and the Union was a music shop cheesily entitled ‘Varsity Music‘. It sold a variety of instruments including a wide range of reconditioned pianos. Despite a rather gruff affect, the owner was prepared to let me play the pianos in the shop because he thought it created a good atmosphere. In the process I learned a little about the mechanics of pianos. He recommended German makes which were steel framed and overstrung. A steel frame was proof against warping and over-stringing meant longer base strings and a better tone. Above all you did not want to buy a piece of old British furniture with a wooden frame.

Eventually, when I got a flat of my own in third year, I bought a suitable reconditioned upright piano from Varsity Music. I was then able to resume my obsession – and the musical torture of the neighbours. I also acquired a Wurlitzer 200A Electronic Piano. This instrument had been used in recordings by Ray Charles (What’d I Say?) and the band Supertramp (Dreamer). I had hopes to perform with it but at 25kg with awkward screw-in legs it wasn’t really portable.

I played a bit in pubs and clubs around the city after that, then in August 1977 I arranged my fourth year medical student elective at Bellevue Hospital in Manhattan, a teaching hospital that was part of New York University Medical School. I would be in the States for 9 weeks. At that time it was still possible to hear the best jazz musicians in the world playing at intimate venues in Midtown and Greenwich Village. The Village Gate on Bleecker Street was recommended. It had a ground floor bar that was open to the street and a performance venue upstairs. The piano in the bar had been stripped down to show the action and a mic was suspended over it for amplification.

My problem was the $15 cover charge which represented three days-worth of my allowance. I starved myself until I had enough cash. A kindly barman took pity on me and offered me free drinks if I could play the piano. In desperation I accepted. Once I got going, and drinks started arriving, he introduced me to the owner Art D’Lugoff who said I could play in the bar for drinks and get free admission to the gigs upstairs. I accepted.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Village_Gate

Musicians hung around the bar and one night I played with Steve Knight formerly of Mountain. The big room upstairs was L-shaped with a stage at the angle. Over the weeks of my ‘residency’ I saw Memphis Slim, Earl Hines, Charlie Mingus and Dizzy Gillespie; each of them twice. At one point Memphis Slim was drinking in the downstairs bar while I was playing, tapping his fingers in time on the table. I got to speak to him and shake his hand.

A New York DJ I met asked if I wanted to stay with him while I tried to get gigs, but the few short weeks I was there were enough to convince me I had neither the talent nor the desire to emulate the outwardly rather grim lives of the brilliant musicians I had met. I returned to university in Edinburgh and to playing in pubs.

A few years later once I was embroiled in the junior doctor years my grandmother died and left me a little money. I hadn’t given this windfall much thought when my girlfriend suggested I replace my old upright with something decent. I went to a proper piano shop, the kind that had a flock of grands in the showroom with their lids up, asking to be played. It was immediately obvious that a new German grand was well out of my reach but I noticed they had a Yamaha G2 ‘boudoir grand’ that was within budget. As far as I was aware Yamaha made motorcycles. It had never occurred to me that their logo was three crossed tuning forks.

Yamaha has been making musical instruments, including pianos, since the nineteenth century, long before they made motor bikes. In the Far East their pianos populate the hotels, schools and concert halls. The Yamaha in the shop sounded bright and clean to me and had a nice action. I thought it suited jazz and blues. The girl in the shop said it was her favourite instrument too – so I bought it.

My flat at the time was on the top two floors of an Edinburgh New Town tenement. I was wondering how the shop might deliver such a massive object to such an inaccessible place. The van turned up with the piano crated up in the back. The rear lift lowered the crate onto the pavement where a team of men lifted it onto a small aluminium dolly with solid rubber wheels. They only lifted the piano when they came to steps. The rest of the time they moved it effortlessly on the dolly. In no time the piano was in my study and being de-crated. They fixed the legs on, turned it over and were gone. My friend Jim Dalziel painted it for me to celebrate the occasion. In due course it migrated to our current home where it sits in the bay window of the dining room. I’ve played it almost every day for over 35 years.

I abandoned the lonely business of playing piano in pubs as proper work took over my life but after a very long break with no performances I started playing with rock bands. Properly amplified music with a PA and fold-backs was terra incognita to me. This meant adding a proper stage piano, a Yamaha P-80 with the full 88 weighted keys. It had several very convincing sampled piano sounds and a decent range of organs. As the Capitols sang in Cool Jerk, “Now, give me a little bit of bass, with those 88’s”.

https://youtu.be/27PydomerjM

Later still, as a radiologist, I attended a series of medical conferences in Chicago. We settled on the Palmer House Hilton as our favourite shake-down. It’s impossibly grand with a painted ceiling in the vast atrium. It also has the Empire Room where Liberace made his debut. In it is a suitably grand piano. I have no idea if it is the grand piano – but I played it and one of my juniors recorded it.

A final note: the farm I grew up on is called Changue, a descriptive Gaelic place name pronounced ‘chang’. Farmers are often known by the name of their farms rather than their actual surnames – as in Knockterra, Auchengilsie, Cooperhill, Changue etc. Their sons are referred to as ‘Young’ followed by the farm name. I was therefore ‘Young Changue’ to many local farmers. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that in South Korea there is a company called Young Chang – and they make pianos.